


Alpha, Omega

by bubbletead



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Drabble Collection, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 18:47:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20840261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubbletead/pseuds/bubbletead
Summary: You and your bias. Imagine.Part 4 of the Twenties series.>> Wen Junhui





	Alpha, Omega

**Author's Note:**

> twitter.com/lastarabesque  
curiouscat.me/lastarabesque

_Member_: _Jun_

_7am._

Early morning that weekend, your phone rang from Seungcheol's call. It wasn't usual for him to call you this early because your friendship hasn't reached that extent yet but still, you picked it up, eyes shut closed from tiredness.

"Seungcheol,.. what's the matter?" You mumbled, hoping Seungcheol would understand what you just said. Last night was a blast, you went to a friend's party and came home drunk. Now your head is pounding hard from hangover.

"_Jun needs you_." His voice was low as if he doesn't want anyone to hear him. Why did you even ask? It's most likely the reason why he would call. Jun needs you. Again. There's nothing surprising. You slowly pushed yourself up from slumber at the mention of his name.

"Why? What's wrong?" You tried to fight the tiredness that is fresh in your system because if it's about Jun, everything about you is pushed aside and he's priority.

"I don't know, he won't tell. Did you fight?" _Impossible_. You grumbled a no because you really rarely even do. "Then he'll tell you what's wrong. Please just come over first. We are all stressed because of him."

Jun is a responsible person in many ways but one way that he's not is when it comes to handling his own situations and solving his own problems. There is probably nothing he can do properly by himself when you're not around because he's the type to always let his emotions eat his sanity. It's a major problem he hasn't fixed yet but atleast you're there to put him back on his track.

"Alright. Just keep him there." You exhaled deep as you ended the call. He really never fails to make everyone worried, especially you. It's just a huge relief for his members that you're there and you're always close.

_One call._

It's all that it takes for you to come running to Jun whenever he needs you. It's either you're so susceptible or he's just that special that you are willing to go out of your way for him. Whatever the reason is doesn't change the fact that you are always ready when it's Jun even when it doesn't go exactly the same way when it's you who needs him.

You arrived in their dorm, lightning speed, and the boys are already eagerly waiting for you on their doorstep as if you're some delivery from their favorite fastfood restaurant. Among them was Soonyoung, Jun's roommate, who is extra expecting you this early because he couldn't bring himself to enter their room since last night, shaded with his fear of adjusting to the chilly aura because Jun wasn't on the mood.

"Thank god, finally!" Soonyoung's face looks tired and bothered. Bags are already starting to darken his undereyes from stress after spending a long night on the couch. "It's so cold but I had no choice but to sleep outside since he locked himself in again." There's really nothing unusual with it. The boys just never got used to it.

"And where's your key?" Soonyoung opened his palms to a small piece of steel, at the same time opening yours to hand it. "You should've opened it then."

"No, I won't dare. But you would." You simply exhaled and shook your head slowly. Of course, who else has the guts but you?

Interfering with Jun's privacy is last on your list but you are troubled by the thought of him already hanging himself in there. He's not the type to do self harm but there's a lot someone could do if things get super hard and you don't want him to result into any of that just in case. Also, you are left with no choice but to intrude because the stubborn guy will never open the door no matter how hard you knock if he decides to isolate himself from the world so for everyone's sake, you will do it.

All 12 members are trailing almost in tiptoes behind you, overlooking as you cautiously pushed the door open. Their quiet breaths and murmurs are the only sounds to be heard. You turned and glared at everyone as soon as you saw Jun's figure. _Sleeping_. Seeing him like that was relieving but also a bit annoying that this is what the boys interrupted your rest for— to find Jun sleeping soundly on his bed.

"Seriously?" No way they called you just to wake him up.

"He banged his door last night, didn't eat dinner and hasn't come out for breakfast." Now that's something more serious. Jun skipping one meal is already super rare and the fact that he missed two means he's undergoing something really bad to the point that he'd take his hunger for granted.

"Don't worry. I got this." Shaking your head again, you entered his room.

Bad sleeping beauty snoozed leaving his members worrying. If he doesn't get his ass out of his room to even eat, you're pushing him out. You always tell him to be responsible enough for his own self but he still results to self destruction every single time.

"Junhui," You sat on the space beside him, his back facing you. You tapped his shoulders lightly and repeatedly to wake him up. "Hey, Junhui."

"Hm,..?" He grunted and shifted to the other side so he was facing you. His eyes are closed but you can see that they're droopy. His lips are swelled too and bags darkened his underyes.

"Wen Junhui, wake up." You pushed the loose strands of his hair away from his face so you can see him clearly. He felt the warmth of your hands on his skin and that's when he realized that he's now half awake and not dreaming.

"*YN*," He slowly opened his eyes to confirm if you're real and when he realized that you are, he didn't speak for a moment and just stared at you. He pressed a small sad smile.

"Come on, you have to eat and we need to talk." You tried to sound soft and caring because he looks so fragile already. You don't want to see him collapse right in front of you.

He closed his eyes for a good second after hearing your sweet voice as he inhaled his tears back before getting up to hug you. He sank in your arms, his face buried on your neck. This is the best way he knows to console himself and make it feel like everything's okay. You're choked, not because of his embrace but because your heart breaks to see him this sad.

"What took you so long?" His voice vibrated on your skin. He wasn't crying but you can feel him sniffling, your hand automatically ran circles on his back to soothe the heaviness he feels somehow.

"Dare ask?" You roll your eyes. "I probably still won't be here if the guys didn't tell me."

The last time you talked was yesterday morning, you were the grumpy one because of stress and he definitely sounded okay, even said some random puns to make you laugh so it was honestly a surprise when Seungcheol phoned you. Jun's voice wasn't this blue yesterday.

"I just don't want to bother you." He pulled away from you, sitting up straight, resting his back on the head board of his bed but his eyes not leaving you.

"You're not okay and that bothers me more. The members said you didn't even eat." For the time you've been together, you know Jun like the back of your hands. You could easily tell what he feels but even so, you still need a word from him if he wants you to help or just stay out of it. Most of the time he lets you in because no one can help him solve his problems better than you but there are times that he just doesn't want anyone to butt in.

"We fought." You knew it. So predictable, to the extent that asking him about what it is all about had only become part of formality. There isn't much to solve about his problems because it always turns out to be the reason as you guessed. "I'm such an awful boyfriend. I can't even make my girlfriend happy. All I do is disappoint her." _Her._ It doesn't even surprise you anymore, that girl is his problem like always but hearing him say it still infuriates you. What exactly is so special about her that Jun always let himself turn into a mess when they fight? You can see no reason for him to do so much for her but maybe only the fact that she's his girlfriend answers all your questions.

Was it a slap on your face? That you are just a friend? Just a girl and just a friend but not the girlfriend? Well, partly, but you don't think about it much because it just heightens the level of hate you have for her. Sure, they seldom fight but when they do, whatever the root of the cause is, Jun always ends up as the bad guy even if he didn't do anything wrong. It's definitely not unusual, next to this would be his different degrees of self torture that drags his members to the mess he became. It's just all relieving for them that this ends up with you and you are always to the rescue— the final stop. You truly are the god-sent friend who knows how to fix him everytime the other girl breaks him.

_She is the alpha, you are the omega._

_You assemble the havoc she leaves._

"She asked for space." Jun sighed. His mood not lifting even a bit even after you arrived.

"_Space??_ It's better if she had gone to NASA. You can barely even name all of the planets!" You rolled your eyes. Space is like the most common reason someone would pull out to escape an argument in a relationship. You would hundred percent understand and buy that reason if that girl has not used it multiple times. She asks for space every single fight. "If I just knew you'd get yourself a girlfriend who seems to be an aspiring astronaut, I shouldn't have asked you to cut Environmental Science before."

"Shut up, I'm serious!" Your heart eased up a bit when he chuckled. Atleast you're serving your purpose well— lighting him up in dark times.

"Don't laugh, Wen Jun. I'm serious too, I'm getting so fired up." You ran a hand on your hair, disheveling the strands. Jun looked at you with amusement, also wondering why you treat his problems as if it's your own sometimes he doubts if it was really his problem in the first place. "What's wrong with her? Like, she begins the fight always and then blames you for it as if she's the victim."

Not just this but many other previous moments Jun ran to you for help, it all narrows down to one single reason— her mood swings. It depends, really, there are times when they only need a small talk and there are times when Jun must walk on thorns just so they would make up. Like now, he must've gone the hard parts and yet, she's not giving in. Her mood swings are so out of this world and you couldn't relate. You never had this weird of a mood swing ever even on days where hormonal changes happen sometimes you feel like she's just making random excuses to keep Jun away and leave him hanging.

"I don't want us to break up." What a fool, always stressing over that matter. It will actually be a good news not just for you but also for the members and you can leave things as it is so they would separate but you wouldn't do that to Jun. This whole thing only brings misery to him and you don't want that. You can't stand seeing him dispirited and gray. "I know you never liked interfering in us but—" His face looks so apologetic.

"Like this is the first time I'll interfere? Junhui, the moment you had her as your girlfriend, I already had an access over all this." _Even though you hate it_. Because everything that concerns him concerns you, and vice versa. He smiled at you before pulling you to a big bear hug once more. Sometimes you hope he stops doing it.

"Thank you. You really are the bestest best friend I could ever have and I'm so lucky. I love you so much." It could have been fluttering, really,— the words he just said, but the words love and friend doesn't sound good together in one sentence. It hurts, if any.

"Tell me something I don't know." You mumbled, halfhearted and dead. "Let's get you something to eat first."

You're not immune and certainly not numbed, sad to say. It only became ordinary. They fight, you help, they make up, you're pushed aside. Then they fight again, you regret giving help the last time but you still offer it again, and the story goes on. You always choose to associate yourself like it doesn't affect you. You broke yourself many times trying to fix Jun and his relationship. You can be a masochist, because you're addicted to the pain Jun gives, but you won't call yourself one, because you never really liked hurting.

***

_She's the alpha, you are the omega._

_Whatever you do, she's always steps ahead of you._

Like how a typhoon comes and leaves, Jun's relationship eventually calmed down and came back stronger. And just as always, you were back to your original place in the shadows, as the irrelevant side kick, the extra in this romance movie. An important character that has no decided ending or if there is, not in this story, not in their story. Nevertheless, you'll play it well because this might be the one and only role you have in Jun's life. And if this way you could remain beside him, you'll gladly accept however you end up.

"Jun is so dumb." Wonwoo sat beside as you are overlooking the veranda, two cans of beer were in his hands. You are back in their dorm again but this time not for rescue because right there you can see a happy and giggling Jun, walking to a date with his girlfriend, catching up on each other. "You will not become a saint from being a martyr of love." He opened the untouched can before handing it to you.

"Thanks." You gladly took it although you have no plans of intoxicating yourself in this broad daylight. Maybe a sip, hoping it would impossibly overpower the pinches you feel in your heart. "Good thing I'm not applying to be a saint."

"Why do you even put up with all these? It obviously hurts you." You really don't expect anyone to understand why you're doing all of this for one oblivious guy. You don't want to explain yourself either. Having it as a topic is difficult enough and you honestly just want to get over it.

"I'm returning a favor, Wonwoo. I owe Junhui so much and I can't just leave him because of my own personal feelings." You pressed your lips to a familiar sad smile. Your smiles never looked genuine enough when Jun and his girl are around. Everyone knows that you're trying hard not to look so hurt when they are together except for Jun.

"I don't know about that. Seems like he's the one indebted." That's because he hasn't heard the whole story yet. Most of the memories you have, may it be good or bad, you share it with Jun. He occupies a big part in your life for a long time to the extent that you can't remember how life was before he came.

It was 7 years ago when you returned to Korea, alone, and you met him in the airport. You only approached him for directions, speaking to him in fast Korean only to realize that he was actually Chinese when he stared at you and mumbled a small _'shénme'._ Little did you know that it would be the start of an inseparable relationship. _As bestfriends._

"Still," You take another sip, feeling the bitterness line your throat. "I only have him,.. even if he has her." The taste of the alcohol slowly resembling your smile.

Wonwoo just nodded, deciding to stop digging deeper and just sympathize with you because it seems you mostly need it. The members would all probably feel the same. They've seen you broken plenty of times, even more often than seeing you actually happy. You don't tell them but they all know how you feel, how you truly feel.

The next days weren't too good for you. Your parents fought while you were on video call, school never felt so stressful with all the exams and deadlines, plus the head ache that wakes you up every morning and you don't know why. Misfortunes are accumulating, hitting your emotional stability and your patience and if you can only pick the worst week of your life, this would definitely be it. Good thing you always have a go to person, an emotional support whenever you need one. _Or so you thought._ Because when you came looking for him hoping to relieve some negativity, the first thing he said when you entered his room felt so unwelcoming.

"I think she's really breaking up with me. For real." How can you even complain and start ranting when he looks more devastated than you are? You leave out a sigh.

"If she asked for space again, just give it." Your voice doesn't have any tinge of energy left in it, a stoic expression on your face. You have no time for this, you're having difficulties too but he doesn't even notice.

"No, this one's different. She admitted her fault the last time we talked, even said sorry." Jun stood and walked back and forth to prove his point. He looks at you from time to time but his eyes barely sees the sadness in yours. His worries are everything that's in his mind.

"That's a good thing then." You pressed a smile despite the gloom.

"But she refuses to talk to me even after I forgave her." He finally settled on sitting beside you on his bed, waiting for a response that could probably enlighten him but you have none. You are not as complicated as his girlfriend anyway and her acting so unreadable everytime is hard for you to decipher also.

"Maybe you need time. Both of you." How ironic is it that the reason you least want to hear from Jun's girlfriend is the same advice that you give him? You have nothing to say. You looked away and his eyebrows knit when you did, a bit disappointed that you are not showing any interest. You just want to find a way to insert your problems in the conversation but Jun doesn't seem like he's ready to listen. He's too focused on his own rants to care. There's tension in the air but only you acknowledge it.

"It's been weeks and that's enough time. We haven't fought this long before." You honestly can't absorb everything he wants you to hear now, you can't give him a proper advice either. Your mind is not in it's most stable state and a part of you doesn't want to listen too especially because it's all about her again and it just weighs your emotional baggage. But you can't let your bestfriend down so you just sat there with him as his rants resumed. The words he says enter your one ear and exits the other smoothly, and his questions are simply answered with generic love advice that you didn't even think of.

For some reason, it felt unfair. Whenever he needs you, you are always there but when it's you who needs him, he doesn't even make you feel that he's ready to help or even listen. It's not always a sunny day for you and you need to share his umbrella at times too but he doesn't even open it. Actually, even if it's already more than painful to see him with her and to hear him talk about her, it wouldn't compare to the extreme heartbreak you feel when you see him lose all care he has for you, his bestfriend, because of her.

Now with all those thoughts filling your head, the bottled up negative emotions are slowly coming out. You don't want to take it out on Jun so you hold it in but you have to leave or else you couldn't take it further.

"Junhui,.." You called him with the most serious tone so he'd listen. Unsaid words are floating in your mind. _I had a hard time today. Can you listen just this once? _There's so much you want to tell him but you only ended up staring, mouth slightly open, finding the right words to say other than those you really want. "I... Junhui, I have a report to finish tonight. I have to go."

His eyebrows slowly creased from what you said, feeling indifferent. He's not even done talking yet and he needs you to listen. He also wants to hear your opinion about this because he's really confused and no one can enlighten him better than you. He hasn't seen you in days too, until now, and he wanted to catch up, maybe watch a movie or have dinner after this talk but you're suddenly leaving him feeling unnecessarily guilty. "But we haven't seen each other for almost a week for the same reason."

"I'm sorry. You'll be fine, I promise." You cut the conversation, pressing a smile, mood totally ruined and still, emotionally unstable. He pulled you to hug but you made it short by pulling away. You tapped his shoulder for some comfort before taking your things and walking out his room. "I'll see you soon."

It wasn't the best way to escape but atleast he bought the excuse you offered.

The members saw your clear eyes glistening with unshed tears as you bid them goodbye and they want to click their tongues in the disappointment they have for Jun. No apology can express how sorry they are whenever they see you in pain with him and what's worse is that he doesn't even have a single clue. It's right to say that they are living witnesses of the efforts you give and how all of those are just taken for granted when this girl, who doesn't know anything but to hurt him, suddenly enters the frame. They know that it is bound to happen that you'll break at some point and all they wish before it happens is that Jun opens his eyes and finally realize that he doesn't need anyone else, but you.

You're just there. _You've always been._

Days passed and your discontent with Jun still remained unsettled. You didn't see him even if you said you will, you also didn't talk to him or even left a message since then because you don't want to approach him halfheartedly. Jun also didn't extend a hand for you, which was worse. You had your own personal reasons for avoiding him but you can't remember him having any and it makes you feel so terrible that he actually ignores you for no reason now. Maybe because you're not his priority? Well, you've known that for quite a while now but it just really hurts to face and experience the reality that he wouldn't give a bit of a damn care about how you are doing when he has his girlfriend around. He only remembers your existence when they fight.

"Hyung, just say sorry. Noona is not that hard to please." Chan and Soonyoung were occupying half of Jun's bed, playing their mobile games the noisiest way possible. "Hoshi hyung, don't fire at me! We're allies!"

Jun exhaled heavily. "I already did that multiple times but it's still not enough." The messages he sent in different platforms are one, now his calls are unanswered too.

"What about surprising her with food? She doesn't like flowers that much anyway." Chan slammed his phone down and glared at Soonyoung who's now staring clueless at him. "You killed me, Hoshi hyung."

"Chan, she loves flowers." Jun remains unbothered by their discord.

"Junhui is pertaining to his_ girlfriend_." Soonyoung recovered from his loss, disregarding the last things Chan said. His tone was filled with malice, as if implying something. "Not the girl who's _always_ here."

"Oh? I always liked the other noona though." Chan shrugged, his voice slowly getting inaudible as he said his truth, starting another game but this time only by himself.

"I know." Soonyoung transferred and rolled in his sheets beside Jun's, keeping himself busy with his phone. They would all agree with Chan. They all think of you as the most fitting girl for Jun, except for him. And it's not even because you're his bestfriend. There are lots of reasons they could see as to why you are fit for each other. "I think you should fix things with *YN* first."

"What do you mean? Last time I checked, we are okay." Not that they are siding with you. They really like his girlfriend too, she's nice and sweet, as a person, but it's not enough to say that they fit each other.

"Are you really?" Soonyoung looked at him over his phone so he would have no choice but to give a reply. "She hasn't been around lately."

It then began to occur to him. True, you haven't seen him since you last talked in his room. You didn't approach him or anything too but there also wasn't anything that you fought over about in particular. You also don't answer the few calls he did and it's so seldom that you reply to his selected messages, which are mostly about school, and it can sometimes be very late. It was so odd but he thought you were just busy.

"I don't know. Is there something wrong with her?" He pondered to himself.

"So, if I didn't point out, you will not notice?" Soonyoung couldn't help but feel a bit frustrated. He's one of the members who doesn't interfere with other's business but now he's proven that Jun really doesn't pay you enough attention, he will talk. You are the most selfless person he has ever met especially when it comes to Jun and even if he's not at that level where he can speak for you, he knows that you don't deserve any of this. "You really are taking her for granted. I wouldn't even be surprised if you lose her one day."

"What are you talking about? I won't lose her." He sounded so confident, but somehow annoyed at how Soonyoung was talking. It just doesn't make any sense for him because you're his bestfriend. "If anyone would leave me, it's certainly not her."

"Yeah." Soonyoung doesn't doubt you at all and he trusts what Jun's says but who knows? Someone can never be so strong even for love. "I hope you don't disappoint us, or yourself atleast."

***

_You kept yourself busy._

You chose to keep your issues before coming back to your spot in Jun's life but it's not happening anytime soon because for a fact, the loneliness just worsens with his presence. Now instead of going home, you went for a drink at the nearest place possible. Drinking had been your past time this past week and no one will, _can_, stop you from intoxicating yourself.

You don't understand why you expect so much from Jun when since the day he had his girlfriend you knew that you are no longer his priority. You just want to try to survive away from him but having him around still feels so much better. Oh, well, before. Because now alcohol replaced him somehow. Being with him is supposed to make you feel relieved and safe but every single time that you're together, he hurts you by talking about that girl. All his interest towards you, all the good times, eaten by a force stronger than your friendship and you can't even do anything to fight for it. Commendably, you had put up with it for long. Like a fool. But now you're making this biggest decision of saving the littlest concern you have for yourself because unlike Jun who has twelve guys to lean on plus a girlfriend, you only have _you_.

A shot of the tequila equals to a percent of hope in yourself to finally get over him so you could go back to being the bestfriend that you are supposed to be but the thing is, it's not as easy as it sounds.

"Hey," A hand tapped your shoulder.

"Oh, Seungcheol... hi." You waved, chuckling as you looked at him. He took the seat beside you and leaned on the bar area to check on you properly. He clicked his tongue and shook his head because your eyes are losing focus.

"You're drunk." Like the nagging eldest he is, he took the glass from your hand and smelled it. "Junhui said you can't drink tequila alone. Is he with you?"

"Aw, nah. No... no," You snatched the glass back and drank it one shot, perfectly lining your throat with satisfaction. "He's probably running after his girlfriend. Y'know, as usual." You let out a very sad laugh.

"Had a small fight?" Seungcheol doesn't find it funny at all. If any, he feels how miserable you are.

"Dunno... not updated." You are so out of yourself. You don't even know what you're saying because your mind is blurred and you couldn't think. It just comes out from deep down your emotions.

"I mean you and Junhui." You turned your head at him only to find him so serious about it. You shut your eyes from a sudden piercing pain that shot your head.

"Ouch." You held your temples and waited for the pain to subside. Thankfully, it faded soon unlike the other pain that never goes away no matter what state you are in. Sober or not, you can still feel it. "Jun and I?.. We're okay... Fine... Smooth."

"Yeah? It was quite a scene for us when you walked out of his room the last time you came. The members are still talking about it behind his back because you never visited again after it." You were keeping a distance from Jun, _yes_, but you didn't think that the members were that observant. It wasn't meant to be highlighted because sooner when you're clear with yourself, you'll return and act like it didn't happen. Like you weren't hurt. But how great would it be if Jun also noticed your absence like how the members did?

"We're just busy but we're fine. Don't mind us." You gave him a pressed smile, waving his words away with your hands. But Seungcheol doesn't believe any of that. Not when he found you here, _drunk_.

"Misunderstandings are not a thing for you two because Junhui can't function without you. Do you know that?" There was no sarcasm in his tone but it really contradicts the recent happenings and you can't fully agree. You laughed, finding his statement ridiculous.

"Nah, Junhui's so well without me." This has to convince Seungcheol because it's the truth and you know that he saw it too. "He doesn't need me,.." You drink another shot and how you wish that its bitterness can just wash your bitterness because it's not so you to be this sad.

Unfortunately, alcohol wasn't much of help. It didn't even lessen the pain or made you forget temporarily. The more you intoxicate yourself, the more evident your problem becomes. The more you pour in your glass, the more you are reminded of life's bitterness. Was it always this difficult to put up with your one-sided love for your bestfriend? You always thought that if you waited then maybe someday he'll see for himself that he doesn't need a girlfriend and eventually realize that he loves you back and he only needs his bestfriend but it has been a long while and he isn't even near that thought yet. And here you are stuck, broken and miserable with the false hope you gave yourself.

"It's super obvious that you like Junhui and you're scared of it." The night deepened and your entangled thoughts only complicated. A waste of money, indeed. But if there's one thing that alcohol affected, it would be Seungcheol's straightforwardness. Normally, he'd be so cautious with his words. He would carefully filter the things he says but now, his statements are something you didn't come prepared for. He was stating a fact that you can't disagree to. Fine, you are scared. But there's nothing wrong with not wanting to lose your bestfriend just because of some fucked up feelings. "He's a receiver. You know that. You have to tell him what you feel if you want him to know."

"We're bestfriends." And that reason sums up all your reasons. You can feed him ideas so he could realize how you truly feel but the thing is, you don't just want to tell him. You want him to _realize._

"And so?" Seungcheol is beginning to feel frustrated. This is like some cliché plot that he's watched numerous times on different dramas. It can run in circles and knots but, it's still drama. He doesn't want your sugar coated answers, he needs your genuine thought.

"_We are bestfriends_." You feel like you're sobering up. "Plus, he has a girlfriend and they are happy. Atleast, I can tell because I was there."

_You were always there._

You were there when he laughed with her, their hands intertwined. You were there when he danced with her under the clear, blue sky. You were there when he told her of his love and kissed her with the stars as witnesses under the dim moonlight. It was such scenes to see and every bit of it lacerated your heart deeply. It's impossible to forget.

_She's the alpha, you are the omega._

_The happiness begins with her, the pain ends with you._

"Is he truly happy?" Seungcheol stopped your thoughts. There is no point in lying to him. If he stares at you intently, he can make you want to tell the truth. "How sure are you that he's not just overwhelmed? That he's not mistaken and he's feeling those emotions for the right person?"

"I don't know, Cheol. Don't make my head ache!" Whatever he asks will never give you both the answers you are looking for. But if Jun is okay then you're okay, it should be that simple. "I just always hope he's happy."

"That's not how it's supposed to be. You should do something! What if you can make him feel genuine happiness?" He put his last glass down, too stirred up by the conversation.

"Of course I can. I'm his bestfriend!" You emphasized once more thinking it would make him stop. Definitely, you make him happy but that won't compare to the happiness his girlfriend gives him.

"Don't pull that bestfriend card on me." Seungcheol downright scoffed at you and you didn't find it funny. You are slowly getting annoyed by the way he talks but you have to admit that he makes a point. "Both of you are stuck in that barrier. If you love him then tell him. Atleast you can tell yourself that you tried."

"Nothing will be left in this friendship if I risk it because there's nothing beyond. And I don't think it's wrong to save myself from embarrassment and hurt." You already faced it. Jun only sees you as a friend and it's fine. If you could keep him this way then you'd rather suffer this way than lose him totally.

"So this is far from hurting??" He scoffed again, mocking you for being a huge dumbass over Jun. You don't care. He can laugh and provoke you all he wants but that won't force you to confess. "You know, whatever. Do your plans, just don't regret it."

You have no plans, even falling for Jun was simultaneous and unexpected. Falling out of him will come in its time too and you believe. This will not go anywhere but that anyway, loving him will never do you any good.

Seungcheol brought you to the dorm that night because it was nearer and you were both drunk to assist each other. Not Jun's place but the other one because judging from your appearance, he doesn't trust you to say things you'd normally do if you see Jun. He let you use his bed, forcefully kicking Jeonghan out of their room so you can rest properly. He perfectly explained everything to the members the next day and asked them not to inform Jun because he knows that you also wouldn't want to tell him anything.

You woke up to a pounding headache, your throat is parched and you definitely look hideous. You can hear the voices outside, figuring that you are in Seungcheol's dorm, and you immediately recalled what happened last night. The door opened and you squinted your eyes to see who it was despite of the light that blinds you.

"Good morning, drunkard." Seungcheol waved the curtains open. You rolled on your back to escape the light that adds to the headache before humming a good morning as well. "I didn't tell Jun but he'll come here later. Eat breakfast before leaving. Mingyu had everything prepared."

"Thanks, Cheol." Early in the morning and he sounds like a nagging mom already.

You didn't do as he said though. You simply washed up, wore the same clothes, Seungcheol's hoodie over it and bid everyone goodbye. They didn't agree on you skipping breakfast but you weren't on the mood to stuff yourself with anything. You're tired and you just want to go home and rest on your own bed.

You sat by their door, slipping your shoes on when it opened to the same guy you are escaping from. Seungcheol said he'd come for lunch, it was still breakfast, but Seungkwan burned everything so he had to invade the other dorm for decent food.

"*YN*?" He dropped the spoon he was carrying with his mouth when he saw you. The noise caused the other members to peek and gasp in surprise as well. Seungcheol closed his eyes for a moment, getting ready for a long explanation but he kept the other members away and settled them down first before standing way behind you.

Jun caught his eyes and his gaze played on him and you wearing his hoodie, he knows because he's seen it many times. Seungcheol got what's in his head but when he was about open his mouth, Jun already stormed out with you.

You tried to remove his grip but it only tightened, to the extent of probably cutting the blood flow on that area. "Jun, you're hurting me." He felt like cold water was suddenly splashed to him and he immediately let go.

"Shit, I'm sorry!" That's when he realized that he was indeed dragging you. You started walking away, almost laughing at his absurd apology thinking of which one it best fits for. He ran after you. "Wait, let's talk!"

There was nothing to talk about. You don't want a conversation either because your head is pounding painfully from hangover but Jun demands even a short explanation. He has been waiting for you to approach him, to see him because god knows how much he missed you and the first time he'll see you after all that longing is there in Seungcheol's dorm, in his clothes. He doesn't even know what to think.

You didn't stop walking, your feet even reached outside of the building. You pulled up the hood and knotted the tie to cover yourself properly. You don't want to face him right now. You thought you're a bit ready and it'll be somewhat fine to have a simple conversation but having him there after the talk you had with Seungcheol last night actually makes you realize how unprepared you really are. You're a mess, physically, mentally and emotionally, and this is not the best time to talk to him when all of this disorientation is his fault.

"Come on! Stop ignoring me and explain, what is all this?" He grabbed your shoulders and turned you to face him. Your eyes were down, your face completely hidden from his view with the hood. Your eyes are starting to water but you only realized when tears actually fell. "Hey,"

Jun slowly pulled your hood down to take a good glance on your face when he felt his hands wet from the tears that hit it. You don't even have the strength push him away because his touch already made you extra weak. He held your chin up to find your swollen face damp with fat tears. You look awfully hurt but he only silently pulled his sleeves up to wipe everything dry, just to have it soaked again. You have to admit, he was so comforting. With him there is as if everything is back in it's place and your world is revolving again. But that shouldn't be it. So you gathered the strength you have left to take a step back, away from him and his warmth before you can't stop and actually let yourself fall over again.

"Seungcheol did this to you?" It was the first thing that came to his head and it was all that fills him. His hands suddenly balled into tight fists but he held it in when you shook your head frantically. This is not about Seungcheol, this is not about him, this is all you but how are you supposed to tell him when you can't even trust your voice to come out without cracking. "I don't even know that you're dating him and this is how I'll find you?"

"I—I'm not dating him." You pursed your lips again after finally letting a good sentence out, tears still falling nonchalantly.

"Oh, so this is a one time thing? Is that why you're crying?" Jun is infuriated for so many indefinite reasons but one he's sure of is Seungcheol. He can't just let it slide. Seungcheol can play with anyone but not his bestfriend. _Not you_. "I'm going to beat him to death right now, I don't care if he's older."

"Junhui, cut it. Seungcheol helped me a lot so don't touch him. I don't want to explain right now. Can't you just let me leave in peace?" His hands slowly lost its grip.

"That's it? You know, I was looking for you for days only to find out now that all this time you were just two floors below me, with Seungcheol. Now you're facing me, devastated and broken after whatever's between the two of you and you can't tell me why. I want to help you but I don't get an explanation? Why are we best friends for again?" Jun was starting to get emotional with the things he's hearing for the first time from you. It's as if you don't want to let him see you raw this time. The cold stare, the sharp words, you were never this.

"Exactly. We're only friends. We're supposed to listen _only_ if someone wants to share, and if not, respect it. I always respect your decisions, Jun, even if most of it hurt me. Now this is all I ask, just leave me alone."

This has to be worse than breakup.

Jun always thought his fights with his girlfriend were already too painful to handle by himself and that is why it's a relief knowing that he has you every time. But having a huge and major fight with you, his best friend, hurts tenfold. There was no one he could run to, no one he could talk with and ask for opinions on what's good to do because that has always been your job. Actually, there are many people he could run to, he has his members, he has other friends and they could probably give him better advice on this. But still, there's no one that he wants to run to more than you.

Because there's no one he trusts more than you, and there's no other opinion that matters more than yours.

***

"Help, noona! Jun hyung,.." You froze as you heard Seungkwan's panicked voice over the phone. Your heart reached your throat from its strong pounding.

"W—What happened?" You don't really want to know because you'll probably die first from nervousness but you need to help Seungkwan and you're extremely worried for Jun too.

"Jun hyung's mouth... it's..." Seungkwan couldn't continue from too much shaking and you can feel it even through the phone. You gathered strength to stand up, immediately grabbing a hoodie to cover your pajamas, preparing to run out of the house. "Noona, his mouth is...."

"Come on, Seungkwan! Calm down! What happened to Junhui???" You are shouting on the other line when you realized that Seungkwan is panicking right at the scene itself and that is ten times worse than your situation. You had to help yourself calm down for his sake.

"I don't know, noona! His... his mouth is bubbling and... I... I— just come over. Please!" Like a signal, you ran out of the house.

"Shit!" You don't even want to hear what's next because you can feel your anxiety slowly eating you whole. "You shouldn't be calling me! Call the ambulance! Who's with you?" Your hands are shaking, you accidentally pressed all elevator buttons before landing your finger to the ground floor.

"I did but they're taking too long! It's only me and Hansol here, the other hyungs are out and they're not taking my calls!" _Breathe_. You reminded yourself so you wouldn't panic more than how Seungkwan is when in reality, you're way too far in keeping yourself calm.

"I'm coming! Just wait for the ambulance and watch over Junhui!" As soon as the elevator door opened, you ran out of the building and jumped in the very first cab that accommodated you. "God, this is all my fault!"

You don't want to think about it but what if Jun poisoned himself? It can't be.

Your tears stream nonstop on your cheeks along with the fear and the blame you put yourself. Jun might have been really depressed these past few days and it's all because you, _his best friend and his only outlet_, weren't there for him. If worst really happens to him you won't be able to forgive yourself.

As soon as you arrived in their apartment building, you ran to the elevator and pushed the button of their floor without waiting for the other passengers. Your entire body was shaking and you couldn't keep still, if you could only make the elevator operate faster. Your feet are tapping restlessly when you reached their floor. You immediately ran to their unit. Their door was open and it was surprisingly quiet as if nobody's home.

"Seungkwan!" The ambiance of their dorm was so different from what you heard over the phone. Seungkwan's cries are inaudible too and it's extremely quiet. "Boo Seungkwan!" Privacy aside, you opened their rooms in search for them.

"Seungkwan's not here. He just left." The heavy footsteps were so familiar as it emerged from the kitchen. _Jun._ Bubbles are really coming out of his mouth because he's brushing his teeth. Jun initially felt so disappointed because the reason why you came to their dorm for the first time since the big fight was not him but Seungkwan, but your trembling figure gave him no time to feel jealous over it. "What happened??"

"Are you okay??" You simply stood, your chest rising up and down from panting, as you waited for him to completely rinse his mouth from toothpaste before grabbing his face to search for anything unusual. He just stared at you with the most surprised expression, looking more than just fine. "Do you feel okay??"

"I... think so, why?" His gaze traveled from your toe up to your face, completely judging the way you are dressed. His face still squished between your palms. "It's you who doesn't look alright. Did you come here straight from home?"

You exhaled. And then it slowly, finally, hit you. _Fuck!_ You were played and scammed by Boo Seungkwan. You fell sitting right on your spot, burying your face in your palms as you bailed and broke down.

"Boo Seungkwan!" Of course you were totally relieved that Jun was okay but Seungkwan also almost killed you from shock. You really thought Jun poisoned himself to his own death and you're beginning to blame yourself for that.

"You idiot, why are you crying?" Jun knelt in front of you to match your eye level. He was about to raise his hands to touch you but he stopped himself midway remembering you weren't really okay and you might not want him to touch you in any way.

"Seungkwan! I'm going to kill that prick!" Your small, long sobs are dominating the silence. "I thought you poisoned yourself!"

"What??" Jun's eyes widen from surprise but his lips curved upwards and he started to laugh. You were crying your ugliest and there he was finding the situation so absurd and funny. "He really said that?"

"Why would you guys joke about that just to set me up? It's not funny at all!" You are crying and ranting like a little kid having an emotional outburst. You just can't believe Seungkwan got you with that. He made you run in sweatpants and slippers thinking about nothing but Jun's life and then you'll arrive and find no Seungkwan, only a laughing Jun.

"I don't know anything about this but he made me brush my teeth before he left, saying he accidentally put toothpaste on my toothbrush." Jun is flat on the floor, cackling, laughing his soul out. It's starting to get through your nerves that he really finds this funny when you almost died from anxiety. You shot him a sharp glare and it caused him to momentarily stop, he really couldn't help it. "Sorry! It's just funny how you actually thought I'd kill myself."

You knocked his forehead and he winced. Your eyes are tired but you still can't stop sobbing. "Crackhead! Do you think I have the time to think about that when Seungkwan is panicking when he called me??" It was traumatic to be honest. You already imagined the worst case scenarios on your way, at the same time blaming yourself for what could happen, and Jun has the audacity to laugh on all of that. "You and your members, I hate you all!"

"Okay, okay, stop crying!" You can't believe he's so calm even when you're raging from anger and your chest feels like bursting. "If you want me alive so bad, you should have—"

"Are you dumb?? Who would want anyone dead??" Good thing you closed their door when you entered because if not, your screams would be echoing around the whole floor. But even so, you don't care. Every single word you say must enter Jun's system.

"I just thought you don't care about me anymore." His laughter died and he stared at you with a dejected smile. "You surely won't come to see me if not for Seungkwan's prank. I have to thank him."

That is the disheartening truth. You didn't even want to talk to him last time and you didn't do anything to approach him either. He was certain that you are drifting apart and he was about to do something about it but he couldn't bring himself to get near you, and then Seungkwan did this.

"And why do I have to see you? Why is it always me who needs to look for you and not the other way around? I also need time to breathe and think, Jun." You may have lived your life around your bestfriend too much that even when you built a wall for people, he was inside that wall with you but it doesn't mean that you can't build another wall that he can't pass through. You want him to understand that you will not always be beside him and you cannot always be the bestfriend he expects you to be, and he has to be ready for it.

"I know, I'm sorry." He exhaled and you were rather surprised that he was admitting it. "I should have known earlier. I must have burdened you a lot."

"That's not what I meant." You hate that you suddenly feel apologetic again. This is the exact reason why you can't stand him, you're so weak and fragile, you always end up giving in. "I'm always here. But how can I comfort you if I can't comfort myself?"

"You're right, I know that too. But *YN*, I just want you to stay with me. Even if you don't say anything, that's enough." Jun's words reflect his true feelings. There isn't much that he's asking from you from the very beginning, your presence alone consoles him so well but he couldn't voice that out earlier.

There is a lot Jun wished he could tell you while you were apart from him. Like, his new cat, his new favorite cafeteria menu, his breakup, yes, and some other simple and random stuff about him that he wants to talk about. He also wants to hear your short talks and even your deep thoughts, like before. Those moments are the most he misses and how he hoped you can fix whatever's tearing you apart from each other that easily so you could go back to how you used to be.

"_Presence_, of course." You had a different interpretation of what he meant by it. "If you want that kind of bestfriend, Jun, I'm sorry that's not me. I care a lot about you and I can't just watch and observe."

"I know, I know." Jun relates but he'll also try his best to make you understand his point. It wasn't because of your nags, he never heard those as noises. "But when I broke up with my girlfriend and you're not there, you have no idea how awful it felt... And how I realized that it would have been less sad if you're around. Even if you talk nonstop or not talk at all."

"What??.... You broke up?" You didn't know. This is the first time you're hearing this. The members didn't inform you too. Jun might have been so sad for so long and you were not even reachable when he needed comfort.

"You don't like her and I already realized why." There are so many things to hate about her but you never focused on those because of one reason— Jun likes her. She made him happy and that was enough reason for you to accept her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't—... are you okay?" You don't know how or what to react in this situation. Of course it was a relief that Jun finally got out of that toxicity but you couldn't be fully glad over it if he's hurt by his decision. Somehow you still feel like you contributed something in the breakup.

"It's weird but, I don't particularly feel anything about it. I was emptier without you, _honestly_." Your jaw would have dropped from the ridiculousness but Jun was so serious about it. He just knew he wasn't really in love with his ex. He's only in love with the moment, the idea and the feeling. They were only bounded by the help you give and when it was gone, everything ended too.

"Are you sure? I mean, it's too late for this because I wasn't aware but, we can still go on a drink if you want." Alcohol might help him release some stress and some emotions he couldn't let out now that he's sober. Partly, you want to drink too. A celebration for your one sided love because your bestfriend is finally single again. Not that you'd be his girlfriend but just because he has more time to spend with you now without you getting guilty about it.

"Does that mean you're not mad at me anymore?" Jun smiled, finally hearing your tone sound normal. Your face was also lighting up a bit.

"I'm not mad at you, I was just having time for myself." You rolled your eyes away from him. The way he's smiling looks so annoyingly good. "So?"

"Scratch that offer. I don't know how you turned into a drunkard but I heard you drank with Seungcheol and Wonwoo?" He flicked your forehead lightly making you flinch. "Can you not drink with guys?"

"They're not just any guys, they're your _friends_." You flicked his forehead in return but you're so bad at it, your finger only brushed his skin.

"I don't care. Don't hang out with them without telling me even if they're my members because I get jealous like this and I hate it." You swear you saw Jun pout a little and took it back. But that's not important because what he just said rang in your ears.

_Jealous_. Did he just say he's jealous?

"_Dumbass_." You muttered. "I can go out with anyone I want and you should absolutely have no care about it." You just sound like it but you're not mad again, not specifically about anything. You just defensive because you're embarrassed and because you know you're flushing red from his remark and you can't cover it up with any word. Why would he even get jealous?

"Okay but what's so sad about this? Stop crying!" He stomped his feet from frustration. He couldn't focus on your conversation when he sees your face continuously getting soaked by your tears and you don't even know that they're still falling. He wiped your wet cheeks with his thumb. "I won't die, okay? And I won't get in a relationship like that again. Just stop crying, my goodness!"

"I don't care." You rolled your eyes again over the fact that he really thought this was still about him, even though it really still is. "God, you're so full of yourself."

"Yeah but you love me." Just when you thought he couldn't be more hateful.

"No." You have no idea why you're suddenly perplexed by him saying you love him. No way Jun knew about your feelings. "Never."

"Okay, I talked to Wonwoo the other day and he kind of revealed some stuff. I also confronted Seungcheol about that morning and he was really bad at covering you up." You can feel your face heat up. This isn't how you imagined him knowing about it. Hell, you didn't even imagine that yet and you have no idea how to escape. "But wait, is it all true?"

"W—What? I don't even know what you talked ab—" You were stuttering and Jun could tell that you weren't comfortable with it. Nevertheless, he wants to know the truth.

"Do you really like me?" Maybe it's okay to say that your soul has officially left your body. Your heart is in your mouth and you don't know why to say. Or what he wants to hear. Being in love with your bestfriend is not something you're so proud of. "I mean, not just as a bestfriend but as... a man? Maybe it would be better to hear it from you, I don't know." You want to throw a friendly punch on his chest or a light slap on his face and tell him how ridiculous he sounds like how you used to do when he interrogates you but you're just frozen and disoriented. You're nervous, embarrassed and everything but fine with what's happening.

"Jun, stop. You're only making my chest hurt with all this." You can feel your heart tightening. Maybe it's because Jun asks you about your feelings directly or the fact that he charged so close to you as he was talking that you couldn't breathe properly.

"Really?... Well then," He slowly wrapped his arms around you so casually and you swear for a second you were electrified. Up to now that he's almost a 90% certain, you still don't want to admit it. Jun wasn't waiting for a confirmation anymore, he kinda got it already when your chest pressed against him and he felt your heartbeat resembling his. "I guess my bestfriend really loves me that way."

"You are out of your mind." Your voice disappeared. The situation is too much for you to handle and you really want to run away and escape right now. Jun pulled away from you, simply staring with an unreadable expression. It's like he's searching for something on your face and you could only blink away from awkwardness.

"Even when your face looks ramyun red?" He tucked the loose strands of your hair behind your ear and you flinched at his touch. You are trying hard to erase his malicious thoughts but considering how jumpy you are over his small actions, you're way too far in making him believe any denial you would say. "You're so bad at lying."

"I know but why on earth do you keep on insisting? Do you like me?" _Act tough, act tough_. Sometimes dominance can get you out of trouble. What would he even do with the information he gets? It's not like he would adjust on how you feel.

He tugged you close to him again, completely causing your next words to disappear. You are choked. Bodies together, faces inches away from each other. You can feel his breath brushing your cheeks and you couldn't move. You just hope he wouldn't feel your heart beat again because it just got even more frantic than before. "I was right." He whispered.

"No." You've made up your mind to deny for as long as you can handle. Jun will never have anything to hold on to anyway unless you say it with your own mouth.

"I don't really mind. Not when you make my chest hurt too." Jun can't deny, he can feel his own heartbeat and he hopes you do to. He doesn't want a quick confession when you're in denial so maybe he'll take this slow until you're ready to tell him. But of course, you're not that slow.

"What does that even mean? I mean..." You can see his eyes traveling on your face until it landed on your lips. You're definitely not slow because you got what he's thinking. He smiled before stealing a peck. You knew but you were still so surprised with the sudden action, you instinctively covered your lips your hands, your eyes wide.

"I love you, dummy." Jun chuckled, giving you space to watch your reaction better. He's just amused of how surprised you are, as if it was really impossible for him to like you back. Though, you really thought like that until he kissed you.

"Wen Junhui," You gulp the lump in your throat for the nth time. Jun won't give you time to deny again, he pecked your lips once more, his face free from mischievousness this time. "You... you love..."

Jun nodded, a warm smile forming on his face. "I'm sorry if I didn't realize earlier that it was always you." You really couldn't explain how you feel now that the barrier Seungcheol was talking about is totally destroyed. The line was crossed over too. Butterflies are in your stomach at the same time you feel high in cloud nine like throwing up.

"Oh my god, Junhui." Happy tears fall down from your eyes as you pulled him so you can bury your face in his chest. You are just so glad that you can hold him now the way you both want to.

"I hope this makes me your boyfriend? I'm sick of being just a bestfriend, you know?" Jun doesn't really care about the label but having the right to say you're his is something he really wants.

"Bestfriend, boyfriend, whichever is perfect." Just as long as you have each other. It took a really long time but still, it's better late than never.

The alpha left but the _omega_ remained. Sometimes it doesn't matter who you start your journey with, but who you end up with. There waiting for him, was you. Regardless of the process, there was you. It's always been you.

_It's always been you_

****** END ******

**Author's Note:**

> twitter.com/lastarabesque  
curiouscat.me/lastarabesque


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